Should I Really Be Here?

When imposter syndrome rears its ugly head, you have to stand firm and carry on

This week has been a challenge. Sitting down to write has brought up all sorts of feelings from overwhelm to inadequacy. Imposter syndrome is looming large and it has really surprised me. I thought I would just breeze through the weekly writing part of my newsletter, easily sharing my ideas about living a creative life as an introvert.

Who am I kidding? I worry about everything. I talk myself out of most things before they see the light of day. The act of publishing this newsletter in the first place was a huge deal and I have floated on the euphoria of accomplishing that for the past few weeks, clearly oblivious to the fact that my personality was bound to kick in and stop me in my tracks at some point.

Frameworks and fumbles

I have poured my heart and soul into setting up this Substack account. I love the format; the community is supportive and welcoming and I’ve had fun. So, it has come as a surprise to find myself wobbling this week.

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Even though deciding on a more focused format is exciting and I’m really looking forward to sharing Mindful Mondays and Friday Fun with you, suddenly, I’m doubting myself. Ultimately, I understand that all I can do is see how it goes and tweak it if it’s unsuccessful. No big deal. Except it is a big deal, to me anyway.

Anything that I put out into the world is personal. Very personal.

The original idea behind The Creative Introvert Club was to create a space to discuss our lives as introverts and overthinkers, so maybe this post was destined to be written. After all, I am doing exactly what it says on the tin! Who’s old enough to remember that quote? (From a UK tv advert).

I think I have been a little intimidated by all of the talented writers here on Substack. I’ve been reading a lot of incredible posts, written by people who are clearly at the top of their game. However, as we all know, comparison is the thief of joy so, I am acknowledging it and moving on.

Monkey mind

For years when overwhelm or imposter syndrome struck, I froze. Literally. I stopped everything I was doing and the internal shutters came down. I would then try to rationalise my reaction by saying it was because I wasn’t good enough, I had nothing valuable to contribute, it’s all been said and done before so I may as well give up.

The trouble with those pesky mind monkeys is they aren’t rational.

It was my husband that actually spotted the pattern first. He noticed that I would gradually start shutting down and pressing pause when things got too much.

Being able to spot the signs of imposter syndrome or overwhelm is important and can save a lot of heartache in the long run by keeping you moving forward. The next step is learning how to deal with these feelings enabling you to move forward.

My coping strategy is to talk about how I’m feeling, and get it all out there. Even if it seems unconnected or trivial. Next, I write down all the pros and cons of the situation and make a plan for moving forward. It’s like pressing the reset button. The weight gets lifted and I can carry on.

So, thank you to my mind monkeys for trying to keep me safe this week, but I’m fine. I’ve got this.

Do you have any advice for dealing with imposter syndrome and overwhelm?

Please feel free to leave a comment below and join the conversation.

Until next time…

Gaynor xx

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